Fit + Flabuless!

Poop on today. Poop on talking to the little hairless beastie with the fancy new CMO job.

I skipped ballet. I feel sore. I feel sad. I feel tired. I feel full. because I ate everything in the house except the cans of beans and tuna. I'll get to that next. I feel hot. And bitchy. And sad. Did I say sad, already?

No exercise today. Oddly enough, I think constant exercise dulls the soreness. Cuz my legs are killing me and I did nothing. Should have ridden my bike 20 miles and gone to ballet.

I'm also skipping a going-away party for the guy at the Gazette whose job could be mine. I don't feel like being in company, you know? Plus my belly's too full to leave the house. Bad. Bad, I say.

I've got an appointment with Tracy tomorrow morning after an interview at 9:30, so that's good. I might skip dinner with Chris and company, too. I just feel like avoiding people. That can't be good. But at the same time, I sure would like a little action. You know what I mean. I'll give myself the weekend to gather myself. Damn that Ramon. I secretly hope that talking to me has the same kind of effect on him. But really, I wish he didn't have any effect on me at all. One day I'll get there.

By the way, fuck that lady who you complimented and then she was such a bullshit meany pants. Fuck those fuckers. You are taking good care of yourself and don't let the bastards grind you down, hear?

Okay. I need a swim. Or a bath. Or anything other than more cereal and jello and baked tortilla chips and salsa, god help me.

[link=http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/index.php] [image noborder]http://www.3fatchicks.com/weight-tracker/img/bar097/slider-scaleblue/lb/0/36/7.5/.png[/image] [/link]

It's a tracker! I dunno how to adjust it to as time goes on, though. Maybe you just have to do a new one each time. Huh.

Hi! I think I tried to call today, left a message. How are ya?

Jeebus and Merry, I ain't got no time these days. I feel like I wake up, go to the gym, rush home, change, rush to work, come home late and pass out. Of course, that's exactly what I do, so there is nothing to blog about.

It sounds like you've been productive! How's that dranky drank story going? I like my Jamie and Ginger now and again. I guess that's my summer drink.

My diet has been okay. Not the regimented ordeal it was pre-Chicago, but I'm certainly not ordering buffalo wings every night. Speaking of which, I made my fake-o BW meal with the lean chicken breast strips and Walden Farms blue cheese dip, and it was not horrificle as I had imagined, which cheered me immensely as I ate it.

I guess I'm doing alright, because I am right back where I started pre-Chicago, give or take a pound, woohoo! Also, and this is the part where you roll your eyes, throw your hands up in the air and then give me a Texas-talkin'-to, I signed up (legitimately, as I think I can get my FSA to cover it) for five more weeks with Frank. I believe the word you are looking for is "dumbass," and/or "glutton for punishment." I will still call this Wendy gal, though. I'd like to see her style.

Okay, I need to blather about the rest of my life's sad little developments on the fellytone, so I'll try to reach you tonight or tomorrow!

Hey, where you at, lady?

It's still hot here. I just filed a story, which means, of course, that I ate until I sat my ass down and wrote the friggin piece about a guy from Colon, Mich. who got a collection of short stories published and is coming back to Colon for a reading and to sell books to all the suckers "who knew him when."

This cost me: half a package of bran crackers topped with an entire package of honey-roasted turkey (too delicious, especially when combined with avocado and/or light laughing cows), cole slaw, two (I broke my one-a-day rule) Klondike ice cream bars, a mango and a quarter of a cantaloupe. Okay, so now that I've written it down, it's not nearly as bad as these deadline binges have been in the past. Still, the goal is to eliminate such useless, mindless eating. Sheesh.

I keep telling myself I won't eat for the rest of the day and I'll get lots of exercise and go to the gym this afternoon for spinning and an ab class and yoga, but really all i want to do is lay around and maybe go to the movies to sit in the air conditioning for a while. I guess I could skip the gym, swim and try not to eat anything except a salad with some tuna or shrimp for an early dinner. I find I feel so much better when I don't eat several hours before bed. I wake up in the morning not hating myself that way. Always a plus.

and this morning I woke up at the ass crack for an 8 a.m. pap appointment. Joy! Actually, my doctor was pretty funny telling hellish stories about her friend's wedding yesterday. Easy-peasy. Then I went to the office and took care of a couple of things, then stopped at the post office to mail the bills which will empty my checking account entirely, then I came home and ate myself into oblivion, finished watching a lousy movie called "Passionada" and wrote my story. Now I'm finishing Days of Our Lives and wishing you would blog.

Please?

Are you out at the bunker today? Are you glad? It's friggin hot all over the place, it seems, but it's always nicer in the country and near water than near concrete whence the temp rises above 90 degrees. . . .

It's been too hot for running, I've decided. So, I've spent the past several days reading on the deck in my bathing suit and hopping into the lake whenever I get too hot. Then I generally hop back in as soon as I get dry. I went for a proper swim this morning, though. I almost went across the lake, inspired by "Motorcycle Diaries" last night, but my fear of getting my head chopped off by a speed boat unawares stopped me. I swam out to the middle then returned to shore and repeated. Twice.

Then I got to eat my egg white pancake and chai tea latte as I watched Bono follow Rummy on "Meet the Press." Yay. NYT all day long with eating and swimming every now and them has made this a friggin pleasant Sunday, despite the HEAT. of course, I love the heat.

I've been eating all kinds of delicious yet diet-friendly things, and I've been very strict with myself in limiting my ice cream consumption to once a day. Love the Klondike no sugar added bars and sammiches. A veggie burger, no bun and my favo coleslaw was lunch and a peach and some bran crackers with laughing cows for snacks. I treated myself last night to microwave smart pop kettle corn during the movie, even though I'm trying not to do the starchies late at night. What the hell? I don't think the fat free low cal popcorn will do me in, do you?

It's going to be in the 90s all week and MUGGY, so I'll probably be swimming and hauling my ass to the gym. it's been hard to get back into running, especially with my ipod on the fritz. I might bike later. The forced breeze makes it pretty cool. If I ran fast enough to create such a breeze I'd be too hot or even passed out to enjoy it, methinks.

Call me when you get back into range. . . . .

I do find the "pancake" derishush; I had one this morning with some cantaloupe and chai green tea. You will love them, too. I have decided this.

The bike riding has made me feel so much like a kid again that apparently I'm beginning to regress in age. Pam didn't recognize me today in the waiting room; she said I looked "like some fresh 18 year old." I'll take it. If I'm looking 10 years younger now, it sure will come in handy as the years go on. . . .

I had such a craving for nachos today that I made them in the lowest fat version I could imagine and eat without barfing. It ended up quite delicious: baked blue corn tortilla chips topped with vegetarian chili from a can, a slice of fat-free kraft sharp cheddar, chipotle salsa and fat free sour cream. I followed that with a Klondike fat free ice cream sammich (on sale today at Meijer!) and a diet cherry vanilla dr pepper. All the while I was watching Days of our Lives.

Then it hit me that this is exactly what the summers of 1987-89 looked like when I would join Mandy for several weeks in Grand Saline, Texas, a little town in East Texas where her grandmother lived. Dorothy (grandmother) would spoil us rotten by singing us awake, serving us biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast, watermelon (cut in those ice-cold, giant quarters, eaten barefoot on the back porch), ice cream sammiches and dr peppers all day long, homemade fried chicken and sliced 'maters from the garden for dinner with a freshly baked cake for dessert, and then after she went to bed we'd stay up and eat loaves of wonder bread and chips with ro-tel and velveeta as we watched horror movies we'd rented and scream when we'd see the roaches fly off the walls. In between eating, we'd play with Tiger the cat (who carried bbs under his skin from being shot by crazy neighborhood kids), ride bikes and go fishing. Life were good. And so it is now, albeit lower-fat with higher-intensity exercise and sans the schrapnel-laden cat.

I'm gonna ride my bike to ballet again today, but I'll take Oakland instead of Portage Road to avoid certain death.

And I am friggin' sore from Tracy's ass kicking yesterday. yay! Can't wait to see what she'll have for me tomorrow in what will be our 12th session together. I'm signing up for another 12 immediately!

Good for you for getting all your exercise in--I know it's tough with your schedule. I think weights have to be our number one priority. For me, the cardio takes care of itself, meaning I hate dragging my ass to the gym, but I love getting outside in all kinds of ways. Where I live is the ultimate in outdoor summer enjoyment, though; I can't deny how easy it makes exercise for me. Swimming is pure enjoyment in a cooling, relaxing sort of way for me--I hop in the lake after gardening, bike riding, running . . . and am so grateful. I've heard it's not the best exercise for fat loss, though, because the body doesn't heat up the same way it does with other cardio. But it is one of life's great pleasures; in fact, I decided two days ago that skinny dipping is one of the most delightful sensations in the world. Too bad we don't get a chance to do it more often. I was awaked by a swimmer this morning at 4:30; I hope she was naked.

If you want to run, all you have to do is start picking up the pace every now and then in your walking. Jog for 20 or 30 seconds and then walk for 10 minutes and repeat the cycle a couple of times. Gradually start increasing the amount of jogging and reducing the walking. It really works. Just don't overdo it, because you don't want to get injured; that'll really fuck with your fitness.

overdoing is bad. In fact, I decided not to do the twice a day thing. I'm committed enough to exercise that I can trust my body when i listen to it. I won't cop out of workouts; if my body is tired (as it was this morning), I let it rest until later when I pound it with biking and ballet. Actually there is nothing pounding about either of those things, which is exactly why I love them!

I checked out Carlos's blog today, and now I'm thinking of running the 10K he's doing in July. Do you have his number? I might give him a call . . . not for anthing other than run talk, mind you. But it could be fun!

As for Fight Club, yes I enjoyed Brad Pitt's beautiful, whoring body, and some of the philosophical overtones, but the bloody fight scenes got to me. Not one of my favorites, although I'll admit my perception might be affected by the fact that while watching it I sucked down two glasses of red wine and a glass of another concoction I must now share with you: take several basil leaves, a peach, crushed ice; cover it with cheap lambrusco (fizzy $5 italianish candy red wine) and blend. Delish. Funny how a few glasses of alcohol drunk alone can bring great happiness and clarity, then send one directly to bed for 11 hours. From that experience I decided that I love summer more than anything and that I shouldn't drink alone ever again.

You really do.

1. You are so smart and funny and right on with the way you approach life. I lurve that about you.

2. Damn, but you're determined!

3. You can eat egg white "pancakes" and love them. I must work on this skill.

4. Yer funny!

5. Well, you just do, okay?

So I had a beautiful session in the gym today. I spent about 2 hours, give or take a few minutes, doing resistance and cardio and I just felt really, really good afterwards. I will be glad when I have even more time off, so I can go back to doing things like my crazy three hour walks and what have you. I dunno, I may even become a runner this summer. The desire is there, but I fear for my knees and toes. In the past, when I've given running a try, I've either ended up with joint issues or lost toenails. Which is why I so love the elliptical, but peddling away in a basement is getting OLD.

Sigh. I'm looking forward to being good and sore tomorrow. And if I'm not, I may bend the rules and go for two resistance days in a row. I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do, and it is so hard with this new schedule. When My day ends, I can't just take off for the gym, and I can't linger before work, because rather than 30 seconds, it takes 45+ minutes to get there, now. Meh.

I'd like to take up swim lessons again, too. It's cheaper out in the work area, but I think I'd like a little private time, you know? I'd like to be a swimmer. They're also teaching friggin' hand-to-hand combat classes at my gym now. Intriguing, but I don't know how I'd explain black eyes at work. It's hard enough with the piercing and soon-to-have-to-be-revealed tattoo. Gawd.

How was Fight Club, btw? Did you drool over Brad Pitt's revealed lower ab/hip cut muscles and Hustler shirts? Or get all geeked about the brutal flesh-pounding fights like I did?

I didn't start the diet today. I meant to, but I screwed up in planning ym day and didn't have time to make my lean-protein lunch, so I ended up eating what was on hand during the day--eggs, rugelach, potato chips, a diet ice cream sammich, and finally, at home, some funky beef and broccoli I made with thin "steak sandwich" cuts of beef anf frozen broc. Not bad, but I'm really glad I put one of those steaks aside for later to eat in a pure grilled meat form. I've realized that cut of beef is perfect for dieting: it's lean, and I got a three steak pack, just over half a pound, which would put those steaks right in that 3 oz. recommended diet meat serving size range. I got equal sized cuts of chicken breast, too, which, once separated and frozen, should keep me in the perfect portions for a good week or so, for cheap. I'm happy.

Okay, enough for now. I'll call you in the afternoon?

do the three-day LA Weight Loss rapid jump start plan and you'll be good to go. Here's what you do, and remember it's for three days only.

Eat as much lean protein as you want, including 2 eggs per day, white fish, tuna, shrimp, chicken breast.

You can cook your eggs in butter, but no other dairy at all.

All the non-starchy greens and veggies you can guzzle.

2 oranges per day.

2 coffees or other beverages with fake sweetener (but no dairy) allowed.

No alcohol, of course, silly.


This will get you back on track, and you'll probably lose 5-7 pounds. Make sure to drink several gutloads of water while yer at it. Let me know when you do it; I'll do it with you.

I rode my bike from home down Portage Road to the Gazette. I barely nearly got killed once, but I made it. At the Gazette, two of my editors took me for a "walk" to let me know one of their guys is leaving and THEY WANT ME FULL TIME.

Off to dance class and then riding back home.

That is all. Need to process. . . .

Talk later?

My neck and shoulders are all stiff. I don't know why, but it means I'm getting old, dammit.

This whole meat situation might need to be reigned in. As in, maybe I should return to meatlessness. Now that I've started, I swear I am hungry all the friggin' time. What the heck? I just had my normal egg-and-berries breakfasy and I feel like something is trying to claw it's way out of mygut for more food. Damn. Is that normal?

Also, I woke up late and assed around online, so much that I don't have time to go to the gym now with my day starting earlier, so I'll have to go at, like, 10:30 tonight. At least that un-airconditioned mofo will be cooler than it is during the day.

YOU SHOULD START A BLOG! WHEEEEEEEEEE! I'd read it and link it and we could totally start our own blog clique of fabulousness! Yay!

Damn, I'm hungry. This makes no sense.

Rumble, grumble, tug.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Gotta go get groceries to get me through the day. My fridge is bare. Bare, I say!

Sigh. First, though, I'm gonna chug some vanilla rice milk.


Talk later!

before the bastards grind you completely into the ground. Harsh, I know, but if you were dating someone as abusive as your employers, I would not tolerate it, dig? So, why are you? yes, you get something out of it, but is it a fair trade off, really? If you were dating a heathen who was great in the sack and put a roof over your head yet he berated you in front of your friends and occasionally raped you, would it be a good situation to stay in?

Okay, that's all on that front for now, but please take care of yourself better. Choosing to stay in a fucking miserable situation does not make your life good, nor does it improve the human condition, two things we all should be working toward, individually and collectively. So there. Not to get all preachy on your ass, but somebody's got to do it! Harumph.

SO,to the fitness. Giselle was marvelous and felt like a new beginning. Thank you so much for being a part of it, for always cheering me on (the previous two paragraphs were a twisted cheering you on from me, by the way, although I'll admit hand delivered bouquets and well-wishes are a much kinder approach, thank you!), and for being such a mahvelous, loyal friend. I'm wearing pink and a pretty skirt today to mark my new beginning.

I've also figured out that I really need to buy fewer groceries. Summers are lean for me in terms of paychecks, cuz I don't get paid for my teaching over the summer. I spend way too much on food, anyway. I drank a fruity protein shake just now--with soy powder, superfood and kefir plus a few frozen cherries. Delish. And I've got enough stuff to make those shakes damn near all summer. Sounds like a new breakfast for a while. . . . Plus I've about had it up to here with egg white omelettes. After eating two of them at 2 a.m., I need to call it quits for a while. I need to branch out and eat some of the foods I have on hand. You've seen my pantry and fridge/freezer. Crazy! I'm like a Jewish mother or something. Goddamn.

Back to running soon. This evening, perhaps. And I'd like to return to spinning at 6 a.m. tomorrow. We'll see how well that goes. . . .

Alright. I have to go do an interview and then give myself a pedicure, go to TJMaxx for fun, have a bite with my mama and write two stories, read the TImes and the Gazette and maybe a little light cleaning. I've already had my coffee, watched SUnday Morning and Face the Nation, called my daddy, done my ironing and gotten myself dressed. Why do I always feel like I'm behind, when really I accomplish quite a lot? This will be part of my meditation during the Summer of Zen. I might actually start a blog with a similar title. . . . inspired by you, sweetness.

A final ass-kicking note: Until you haul your ass out of misery and find a better way to get paid to spend your time, please try to find something good in every day. Resist getting sucked into the mire, unless getting totally submerged will finally force you to make a change for the better. I love you. That's why I'm kicking your ass, dahlink. . . .

Just as I was calling the florist, the flowers arrived, and they are spectacular! Thank you so much, darling , for sending me such a beautiful bouquet and a lovely card--love the quotes! Put it up on my fridge immediately. And now as I type I am enjoying the lilies, peonies, gerber daisies and baby's breath. Delightful and smells fookin' delish, man.

So, how'd your workout go? Was it good getting back, or hard? Or both? You must feel better either way. And what's with your bringing your own food to the bunker? They don't even fuckin' feed you scraps? Why, I never. . . . Do you have your own kitchen, or do you have to use theirs on off hours?? Cwazy set up, no kidding. But I wish you luck with your 3 days of heaven and getting back on track with your diet. Maybe you can go for some long walks, too. And I'm telling you, think about investing in Core Secrets--it's good stuff, and you can travel with it. Just deflate that ball, fold it up, bring the foot pump, and reinflate. Voila!

So, I'm fixin' to head back to the theatre. I have my hair done, my tights washed, my dress ironed (champagne one last night, flashy pink one tonight) for the reception, my bag packed. Should be good. I'm eager. I didn't do any exercise today, although I was threatening to do my pilates tape. Eh. I'll get back to it tomorrow. I ate my tex-mex egg-white omelette and an apple for breakie, cottage cheese and strawberries for a snack, and I just had an Amy's veggie loaf, yogurt and apple. I'm bringing a clif and luna bar for later--pre-performance energy boost. I've really been craving another chocolate dipped cone from DQ, but that might have to wait until tomorrow. I know I'll drip it on myself if I get one on the way to the theatre.

Okay, I'm off. Thanks again for the perfectly gorgeous fleurs, for being such a wonderful, devoted friend, and for honoring the dance!!

Call me when you can. . . .

Hi! How was the first night? Congratulations, I'm so proud of you and your dancing! I saw snapshots of the Chenery stage online and had stage fright for you! Also, I hope you'll be home around 10:30-11 Saturday mornin'.

Did your, uh, landlord show up in town? How are you with all of that?

I was in Philly, but I'm back now, and headed to the bunker early Saturday afternoon. I'm so not ready.

Anyway, I have been totally off the wagon all week. Horrible. Saturday morning will be the first time I've made it to the gym since our workout last friday, and for me, that one didn't even really count so much, so it's like it's been a week and a half. Terriblebad of me. But I am looking forward to my Saturday morning workout, and since I will be heading to the bunker for three straight days, I've bought a strictly measured out amount of healthy food--an Amy's for dinner each night, a Nile for lunch each day, and a Clif for breakfast, plus Ryvitas and Laughing Cows and Strawberries for snacks. That should be a good three day diet jump-start again.

I'm afraid of what the gym will be like for me tomorrow, though. Crap. I'm going to have to squeeze a lot out of that workout, though, because I won't get a proper one at the bunker. How many calories do you think raging and weeping expend? Kidding.

Hopefully I'll get to talk to ya before I head out tomorrow, but in case I don't, I'll try to buzz you some time from my work cell, which is the only one that works out there. It's the 917 number from before.

Anyway, I am so glad to hear you are sticking with this whole thing, and that Tracy is such a great motivation. I'll draw mine from you, if you don't mind. You look fabulous, er, flabuless! And even if your twins shrink, you still got a good set to work with, LOL. Also, you've got great gams, so I don't know what you're talking about there.

You are also absolutely right about how we have to think about food. Aside from my weeklong madness, I have found myself tending toward just scrapping things I don't really want or enjoy lately, no matter what they are. Realizing I don't have or need to eat something just because it's there, or I bought it, or whatever, has been a huge step for me, I think.

Okay, I'm going off to sleep now, as I have a lot to cram into the 6 waking hours of my day tomorrow that actually belong to me.

Ciao bella!

and where the heck are you? In Philly?

I hope you're not finding it too hard to get back on the wagon, although when surrounded by family it seems near impossible for me. Good luck!

Tech week has gone well--long evening rehearsals and days spend gardening keep me happy. I also saw Tracy twice this week--God bless her! Wednesday the temperature dropped 25 degrees and it was grey and dreary out. I did not want to haul my ass out of bed at 8 a.m. to meet Tracy. I ached all over. Come to find out, I started my period that day, which explains a lot. She told me those are the days where she really pays off. And it's true! Post Bluesfestery, Tracy has been a godsend. I'd still be scouring the city for good ribs every day if I didn't have Tracy on my schedule.

And I think my breasts have shrunk. Which has to mean something else is shrinking if not about to shrink, so that has to be good, but I fear that I've approached an age where shrinking belly and thighs is a near impossibility; I'll simply lose my tits. How tragic would that be? Fear not. I'l simply hit the weights harder--that has to help, right?

I also know that my eating absolutely has to change if I want to transform my body. With the late night rehearsals, I've been eating at 4:30 or 5 before we start and then at 10 or 10:30 when I get home. Then I crash. That can't be good. So, last night I ate more than usual at 4:30 and then nothing but water after rehearsal and felt proud. THen I woke up at 3 a.m. hungry as a bear. I did not arise and go to the kitchen, mind you. It's hard not eating late at night, but I think it might be a key to fitness and flabulessness. I'm also back on the GGs, fruit and veggies (love that low-fat coleslaw in the heat!), Amy's for lunch and egg white omelettes (I've discovered topping them with fat-free cheese, salsa and sour cream makes a delectable Tex-Mex morning feast. Yummmmm! I'll admit to a beer on Monday night, a stop at DQ on Wednesday night for a dipped cone (period chocolate cravings needed satiating) and the odd piece of chocolate dipped in peanut butter (drool), but for the most part I'm feeling like I'm back on the wagon. Although I've stopped running this week to avoid risking injury before the performance. I think I'll do pilates and core secrets later today.

Anywho, I hope you're well, darlin' and let's talk soon, okay?

That's what my internet sluethery tells me I've got on my eyeball.

Two things:

1. As much as I'd like to believe it is laugh-manifest, all the literature says it's caused by things like coughing, sneezing...vomiting and binge-drinking. Hmm. Now what could I have doen thursday night that is in line with any of that?

2. The only time that you should worry about these kinds of things, say the websites, is if it hurts or coincides with...easy bruising. Hmmmmm...

If I get any more weird bruises, I'm going to see a doc.

Anyhoo, thanks for coming out! I had so much fun. Sorry about my perpetual hateration. I think I need to work on my attitude. Meh. Back on the wagon for me, healthwise. I need to go to wholefoods for a salad, now!

Call ya later?

It is fucking amazing what a photo of a sexy ex will do to a person. Me! We're talking about me here. I feel so unbelievably motivated to hit fitness goals now. He was trouble, serious trouble; meh, why do I love the trouble? Not that I'd want him for anything other than a quick fuck or perhaps a slow fifteen--he is not relationship material. But who the fuck is?

Oyoyoy. I am so ready to party in Chi-town witchoo. Can we hit the Irish bar first?

I am totally throwing away the tortilla chips as soon as I get home, and I am considering planning my next trip to San Francisco to coincide with my goal weight date. Oh jesus. What is wrong with me? I was fabulous enough for him in 1997, and I am way more fabulous now than I was then. How's about I'm signing up for some serious flirtations with any hottie thing that moves--all summer long.

Starting in Chicago. In two days--or less. And continuing from there. . . .

When's our next trip? And is it to Vegas?

So, I strap it on for a good ol' run this morning and halfway through "vertigo" the mother freezes. Today is not a day I can run without my tunes. So I boggle and press and boggle and press and in the meantime take a 30-minute walk through the nature preserve. No tunes. So I go home and do my core secrets workout, then check my ipod and it has died, so I figure it'll start up again and I'll go for a run, since I'm already sweaty and stanky and in my workout gear. Strap her on again and start to jog to "Vertigo" again and she freezes. But then I see it's a battery issue! yay! Just needs more juice. But I'll be damned if I'm running in this heat without Bono cheering me on. So I went home and had breakfast--egg-white omelette central with fat free cheese.

I got my story filed at 12:30 last night. Now I have to get working on the next one so I can get to Chicago to see you! I also have to grade a ton of papers, get my grades in, write that letter, finish the course proposal, go to ballet and host a lunch tomorrow for my SI leaders. Sheesh oh pete. I am looking forward to letting it all hang out in Chicago.

How are you for cash? I'm a little concerned about all the fancy eatin' out. I was thinking maybe we should stock our hotel fridge with yogurts and whatnot (maybe I'll track down the whole foods ahead of time) for breakfasts or something. But then again, we love eating breakfast out! Hmmm. Maybe we'll have to hotdog it for lunch. It's just that I don't have a mega-budget going in, and I'm thinking about how to cut corners that will hurt the least. Any ideas? I'm thinking about this now because I know as soon as I get a few drinks in me, all my money concerns will disappear . . . until I'm sober again. Shit. I've also devised a new vodka plan that involves hiding the contraband in water bottles to sneak into Grant Park.

Okay. Off to work on all my projects so I can get to you on time!!

Went for a good, ol' sweaty run this morning, first thing. I feel more like myself, which is a good thing. All that sickiness and drankin' (not to mention lunging) kept me from lacing up. Oh, the 93-degree heat yesterday landed me in the lake, rather than quickly moving across the blacktop, too. I'm also back to the egg-white omelette for breakie, and that's a good thing, too.

Sorry I missed your call last night--I was in bed asleep before 10. Saturday took it out of me. Now with 10 hours of sleep under my belt, I'm feeling much, much better. Sadly, I have a story to write, a letter of recommendation to write, a course proposal to finish and shoesies to buy (ballet and sandals for Chicago!). What's a busy gal to do? Probably wrap up this blog and get to it!!

Maybe we can talk later? I don't have to teach tonight--it's over!

I am in the same boozehound doghouse you're in, little lady. And like you, I like to think of it as training for our upcoming trip.

The lunge workout worked. I am in pain. And trying to figure out how to run today in the 80+ degree weather. Sweating it out would actually be a good idea, though. I'm working up to it. I must let the pannycakes settle and I have a phone interview at 1, so we'll see what happens after that. I've gotten the place cleaned up, though, so that's a triumph. I just want to curl up with my NYT. Oy.

How are you today, darlin'?

that I am a fucking kitchen MacGyver.

This is what will keep me in the pudge forever.

Today's miraculous malcaloricalness? A boozy strawberry shake. I am such a dessert whore.

Frozen strawberries (1 c.), 1/4 c. french vanilla soy creamer, 1 c. vanilla ricemilk, 1 shot 151 rum. Blenderized.

Fucking outrageous. Creamylicious, but just...so...wrong.

*hanging head in shame*

I am merely preparing myself for our upcoming trip!

we commit to putting $20 per lost pound toward the vacation fund? Retroactively. Would that be a motivator or a detractor? That would mean I have $100 in the fund, and will have another $400 by the time I hit 140. I don't know how far, how low I'll actually go, and it's amazing how quickly and easily I've released the idea of 115 or whatever. (I suppose my intense love of cake has had an effect). I'll be happy to dip below 150 and then on to 140, and I suspect I'll be very happy with myself at that point. I have to be honest about my build as well as how I want to look. I like muscles, I like curves, and I'm happy to realize that I have a body with both. I don't know if I'm making any sense--I'm distracted by Nicole Kidman on Oprah at the moment, who just happens to be tall, thin and gorgeous in fancy gowns. But you know what? I'm really starting to be present in myself, as Pam would say, which means I like who and what I am and the life I'm living. Yes, I'd like my sweaty thighs not to rub together and the dimply fat on my thighs and belly to go away and my ass to be a little less flat, but I have no desire to be Nicole Kidman (actually, she's not the best example, cuz I never really cared for her anyway) or anyone else.

What can I say? I'm down with the Buddha these days.

But I would like a summer fling or at least someone to be with, to truly be with, but I have gathered Nicole Kidman struggles with that one, too.

As for you and all your gym-whoring, good for you! Be careful with yourself that you don't burn out, though. You gotsa feel good sometime, but then again, I guess that's what Chicago is for!! And make sure you're drinking enough water. I haven't been drinking enough water, and that always leads to bingeing for me. Somehow I can't differentiate hunger from thirst, so I do better just drinking constantly. At least a gallon a day is what I'm aiming for now. Do you drink bottled water or tap water? I just filled 7 gallons at the Culligan spigot (is that how you spell that word? I've never spelled it before), doging some kid's puke. I was determined, man.

Today I ate an egg-white omelette with fat free cheese at 10 with coffee and soy creamer and WF choc sauce, an Amy's lasagne at 1, a yogurt with all-bran at 2:30, and now I might be having another egg-white omelette with my broken eggs. Okay, so I just had the egg white omelette with a sliced cucumber dipped in fat free honey mustard dressing. Good. Amelia called and wants to take me for dinner for helping her meet the manuscript deadline. How could I refuse? The question is: do I go for a run or take a nap beforehand? It's a question I often ask myself these days, I find.

Good talking to you today. I hope your working has been bearable.

in a single sitting.

I topped it with honey mustard. I think my body was trying to get at the sugar in the mustard, because I am now pretty sure I'd have stopped at a few tablespoons had it been just the plain tuna.

Shit.

So many ways to self sabotage!

That were good mustard, though.

Love ya back! I can't wait until next week. I think it's time, good and proper, for us to cut loose for a bit, no? And we always have the best time, even when the time is spent griping about all the rest of our lives. I am one lucky gal to have found a friend in you. I got your card and it was the sweetest thing. It made me cry a leetle. You're the best!

Six days and counting...oh I am so happy. Yay, vacation! I keep meaning to call you early but I have been gym whoring so much this week.

How are you feeling? By the time you read this you'll have done the lunge workout with Tracy, yes? Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. You are a brave woman. Machine. Woman. Go you! It sounds like you and Tracy work well together, which is so important. You will soon reach your goals, I know.

Speaking of which, have you started your vacation fund? I have not, which is bad. Must...start...now!

I hurt all over again. Frank threw in some new stuff this week that was somehow hugely more challenging than what I was doing before. But the soreness is good, as you say. Between abusing the shit out of my muscles, cardio, and calorie restriction, I find I am very tired lately. Like now, I am ready to go to sleep, even though I just had coffee a few hours ago. I'm tempted to fight it, but perhaps I should just give in to the sleep. I hit the gym twice today, because I worked and didn't have enough time to do strength and cardio in one session this afternoon. Maybe my body is saying "Bitch, I need some time to repair. Get your ass in bed and go the hell to sleep." I imagine my body is skraight ghetto like that, you know.

Anyhoo, lastly, lest there be any doubt about the lengths to which my subconscious mind will go to keep me tubberific, the last two nights I have had ridiculous sweet cravings that have led to me eating strawberries topped with delicious Silk soy french vanilla creamer. Ridiculous, I say. Who does shit like that but me? *eyeroll at myself*

Hope you are feeling fabulous, dahlink! Don't beat yourself up over the weekend. If you made yourself follow that diet to the letter all the time, you'd be totally off it in no time. As the lurvely J. Depp said of the piratey...piratical...piratific code/rules in that classic filum Pirates of the Caribbean, "I see them more as...guidelines." And if it makes you feel any better, this weekend while I was in Philly I had a whole cheesesteak, a large bag of Herrs ripple chips, cheesefries and some honeybaked ham in, like, 16 hours. The shame. The shame! I just tried to be really good the rest of this week. Mostly, it worked. Just try to be good most of the time. As in life, so with diets. Or something like that.

Talk soon?

. . . that I love you?

I was just thinking this morning about why shit happens, you know the usual sort of what does my life mean kind of pondering that I have on an hourly basis, and I had a thought I'd like to share: I'm so glad I moved to Boston, most of all because I met you! I mean the journalism degree, finding out how consistently Ramon is an arse/work-a-holic/cold-as-ice s.o.b., and the Lord & Taylor on Boylston all were worthy reasons to have spent a year there, but I am fully convinced that I was sent there at that time to meet you, Ms. Sid, the shining star in my life that you are. So thanks for meeting me there--I'm so glad our paths crossed and our individual journeys are now intertwined. I am such a lucky girl.

and your seven pounds down. Hot damn. Do they have one of those five-pound plastic lumps of fat at your gym, so you can look at how amazing it actually is that you have managed to eliminate even more than that from your body? A. mazing. Yay for you!!

And I think it's just fine that you're keeping Frank around, especially if he's giving you a discount and especially if he decides to show up. Don't forget it's you doing the work, though. He gets a minimum of credit in my book.

I'm sitting at the little coffee shop right now after having dined on chicken pecan salad and a turkey sandwich. I am so off the 10-day turbo charge diet. I need some recovery time after that wedding and my sickness. I didn't run today, cuz I was feeling like ass, but I'm going to ballet tonight and Tracy has a "lunge" session planned for us tomorrow. It's the one she did last week that left her so sore she could hardly demonstrate some of the movements last week. Goody. Actually, I really do love it--feeling sore feels like an accomplishment. We had a trainer-in-training follow our session on Wednesday and Tracy kept telling her what good form I have and how hard she can push me. "She's a machine," Tracy said. I never knew such a compliment! Anywho, I'm hooked, and I've decided I'm going to keep up the training throughout the summer. It's an investment in my health, my future, no? I think I'll keep it at twice a week until I hit 140. That seems like a plan. The scale was up three pounds on wednesday, but after the weekend I had and the fact that I'd had breakfast and coffee before the weigh-in, I don't even count it as a gain. Oh, the games we play with ourselves.

Well, I'd better get to work. A asked me to proofread parts of her book manuscript--it has to be at the printer's in Oklahoma tomorrow and she called me in a panic this morning. Of course, I'm always willing to help a friend about to miss a deadline. The Golden Rule, no? Although I've come up with an improvement on the golden rule, because you can treat others the way you want to be treated, but they can still treat you like shit. So, the variation I've come up with steals a little from Oscar Wilde. We need to think instead about the record of our own souls as we live this life, because in the end it never lies.

Keep up the good work!

Did you know the Chicago RIBFEST coincides with our trip?

I'm not saying we have to go have ribs, but, for the sake of the experience, it's something to consider. Blues, ribs, ribs, blues...they just go together.

:D

How was the student dinner?

I know everybody says I should cut him loose and get another trainer, and I probably should, but I won't.

He's actually good when he shows up, you know. He reminds me of my favorite cousin (who is oddly like my other little brother), and sadly, I have a soft spot for that irresponsible little bastard that makes me have a soft spot for Frank. Eh. Now to ensure we don't have anymore of these inconvenient little "miscommunications."

Also, he offered me a really good rate for my sessions, that is just over half what I thought I'd be paying, so I'm sold.

I'm workin' a heckuvalot for the next six days. Then, Chicago! Wheeeeee!

Good luck with your students. I think you should have made them do all the cleaning when you got 'em there. But that's just me ;p

Talk to ya later...

It already feels like it. I mowed the grass and weed wacked in preparation for my students' coming over tonight. It should be fun and short and sweet. If only I could get to grading those papers!

I returned to Tracy today and I am so glad I had that appointment, because being sick and having a weekend of desserts could totally make me backslide if Tracy wasn't there to kick my ass. I still have felt like eating lots of candied almonds and ice cream and chocolate toffee candies. And more than that--I've actually been eating those things. so I am so proud of you for eating the cardboard with spreadable plastic. I've been eating that stuff, too. Sheesh. Soon I'll have eaten everything delicious in the house, though, and then I'll be back to the healthy stuff, only.

Okay. More later. How you? We'll chat soon--after I grade those papers and get rid of the kiddies!