Fit + Flabuless!

So, E is really taking this "too nice" thing to heart, and whipped my ass again today. Usually, the extended pain doesn't set in until the next day, doesn't it? Maybe it's worse because I didn't get over the last round of abuse. Also, today I got weighed, and he promised tape measuring and fat calipers Monday too. Perhaps I should not have offered a bottle of Grey Goose for every 15 lbs I lose. Still, just by eating better over the last few days, I've lost a pound. Why am I so irritated by that?

Next week, he's having surgery, so I'll only be able to see him one day, sad. What does one get as a feel better gift for a trainer, anyway? A card?

Meh. It's raining here, and I smell like ass. I'm gonna go shower. What's new with you?

That's okay, though, because now I have so much to report!

Not really.

I mean, I'm eating better. Working out okay. Haven't been at it quite long enough to see any results again, though.

E. whipped my ass Tuesday. Never again will I tell a man he's too nice. Meh. I did 100 goddamned pushups, and now my arms hurt just to touch. My armpits, too. I'm afraid of what'll happen tomorrow.

In other news, my limited budget has me trimming the fat (heh) in my grocery shopping. I swear, I always diet best when I'm broke. The summer of the lightness, when I lost, like, 20 pounds in a two months, I was only eating what I could afford--coffee in the mornings, free teacher's lunch in the afternoons, and cup o' soups for dinner. So depressing. But shit, it worked. And all the sex kinda made it worthwhile. Hm.

Oh, I finally called my new doc and learned a) I can just make an appointment with the nutritionist and then have them fax over a referral, if needed and b) I'm anemic. But only a little, apparently. Which is weird. She says she doesn't think I'll need to take anything for it, but I guess I'll need to get more iron somehow. Meh.

Hm. I think that's it for now. More details after Training: Part 2.5, episode 3. Sigh.

I made them thar protein bars, 'cept I used chocolate protein powder and halved the recipe; and despite the fact that they look like frozen turds, them are delish. And no creepy aftertaste like the storebought ones. I also added hazelnut soy creamer instead of water and not quite enough of it, so they're a little dry. But for next time I'll know better.

Booty camp is fab. Not really running much, and for now that is fab, too. We'll see how fab it is in two weeks when I'm running all over Chicago.

As for diet, I'm pretty much sticking to the latest plan: quit eating at least 12 hours the night before you wake up and eat breakfast. Then eat a big ol' grainy breakfast (oatmeal or whole grain toast) and little yummy meals throughout the day of fruit, veggies, protein, dairy, whathaveyou. I try not to eat too carby late in the day, but sometimes you just wanna have a bowl of pasta for dinner. Then I just make sure to have plenty o' veggies and protein to balance things out. Working so far.

And you know me, I can't help myself from cookies, so I eat 'em and just try not to eat nothing but 'em. You know? Sugar's generally a bad idea, but soooo delicious. Dang.

Oh, and water, water, water. I drink much less water on the weekends cuz I don't have that handy water cooler at my disposal like I do at work. Gotta fix that. I can really tell a difference: I'm much hungrier the less I drink (water, that is).

So, that's the update.

And you?

. . . despite her lousy excuse for cookin'.

She told me I look smaller today, and you know how much I love that. Course, the smallishness may be fleeting, cuz the office manager at work brought in a ginormous tray of Baklava to share, and who can resist that at 4 o'clock? I enjoyed every sticky moment, I'll have you know.

Speaking of inappropriate food . . . on Monday when I went to the gym they had a free buffet of chimichangas, guac, queso and chips spread out in the foyer. What the hell??

But so TTT. She's designing a meal plan for me--I'm hitting it for the countdown to SF for my BD. My intention is that in conjunction with the 6 weeks of Saturday boot camp (or "booty camp" as the bootylicious TTT call it) and maybe even the Slim in 6 will have me feeling--if not looking--like a star by the time I hit the big 2-9.

I know, I know. Didn't I just swear off diets? Well, the food is the thing. Just two and a half days of eating less, drinking more water, and quitting eating well before bed has shown an improvement in the way I feel and the way my clothes fit. I think your old poopy doc was right when she said exercise is like a bonus, but for weight loss the food's the thing.

Also, I want you to know that as annoying as I might be to you in talking about my fatness is nothing compared to TTT's talking to me about how she needs to "lean up" for a fitness show in Vegas. Everyone has her own screwy standards for herself. She competes in fitness shows, so she has been known to say, "After that, anything is fat." It's crazy how people manipulate their bodies. For better and for worse.

Me included.

BTW, I'm sowwy yew sickie-poo. Hope ya feel bettah. Good thing you made a big ol' pot of soup and are stocked up with Monarchs. . . .

Peanut Butter Energy Bars

2 cups oatmeal
4 scoops of protein powder (vanilla, any brand will do)
_ cup peanut butter
about 5 TBLS water

Mix in a bowl – dough should be stiff

Forms 6 bars on wax paper – freeze for 40 minutes and then they are ready to go!! NO baking!!

195 calories
8.3g fat
16g carbs
18.8g protein


. . . and they're scare-y. I dare you to try them!

I guess this is the point where we remind each other to act in a kind and loving way toward ourselves as well as each other. I'm glad you found a doc you like. Did she help give you guidance in weight loss? Did she suggest a nutritionist/dietitian (Die! Tit, Ian.)? I'm glad she said cut back on salt and caffeine. Your sometimes caffeine abuse has gotten scary at moments, methinks. And perhaps your recent reintroduction of animal flesh has contributed to the spike in blood pressure? Of course, I think you have a point with the "stressy little life," the rage, the Job, the pay cut . . . shall I continue?

Bottom line: this is officially a new ballgame, and methinks that's exactly what we need. It ain't about beauty. It's about health, first and foremost. Plain and simple. And living a healthy life--physically in terms of diet and exercise, but also emotionally, psychically, spiritually and whatever -allys we can come up with.

Be gentle with yo'self. Please.

And I promise to take my own advice as well.

I've actually had a decent day of it--working my balls off as usual, but taking some time to enjoy living, too. I've decided to make some time every day for a little celebration. Cuz shit. I don't know how I ever lost sight of the fact that I could very well be dead right now. What a rotten alternative. So there. Perspective on a plate.

I'm loving the new bootcamp on Saturday mornings with TTT and Red A, her assisting trainer. They're kick ass and all the asskicking takes place outside, so it's good. I'm reclaiming all the years of P.E. class dread and hell. Just watch me finally do a set of pull ups. I discovered I can do tons of full-out sit ups--something I could hardly do in the 2nd grade even when a fat kid was sitting on my feet to hold 'em down. So there's a triumph.

I haven't run in a week, but I've been hitting the gym 3, sometimes 4 times a week. It has become a kind of midday sanctuary for me. I teach class in the morning with a greasy head, then hit the gym hard with cardio and weights, shower and steam and feel refreshed for the rest of the day (which is long--won't end until 10). Basically I'm working from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. most days. Nuts. But would I really be any better off spending more of those hours watching BBC America?

Perhaps. . . .

So, I quit dieting, but ended up abusing cookies and feeling bloated and lousy, so now I'm trying to be more mindful. But in a way that allows me to eat in the car. Not great, but hell--I'm not going to be sitting down to three squares with crystal glasses and linen napkins every day at the office, in my car, etc. Just ain't gonna happen right now. So, I'm happy with Amy's organic, turkey sandwiches, fruit and energy bars in the meantime. Oh, and I always take time for coffee and irish oats in the morning. I'm feeling better on the food front, but damn if it isn't always a struggle. What would it be like not to struggle with weight? Perhaps that's not the question to be asking. . . .

Anywho, I like the idea of reframing this whole thing to be about nurturing ourselves in ways that lead to health, and all that means; especially since that's obviously one of the big things we're both here to learn this time around.

Have courage! And we're in this together, even if you curse me for saying it. . . .

So. Saw my new doctor today. She's nice, I like her.

Unfortunately, I got bad news, and more bad news.

First off, I seem to have developed high blood pressure again. I wonder how. I have to eliminate salt, caffeine, and try to lose more weight. I didn't mention my stressy little life, but I'm sure that affected it, too. Dammit. Dammit to hell.

Second, I discovered that there is a five pound discrepancy between my home scale ($6, Target) and the big fancy doctor scale at my doc's office. As in, the doc scale reads 5 pounds higher than the home scale (nekkid, so I can't even blame it on clothes). I'm inclined to believe the doc scale. Which means I'm fatter than I thought. Dammit. Dammit to hell.

The good thing is, though, that I am not suffering the ravages of time at the ripe old age of 27, which is what I had believed before, because I kept thinking I didn't look the same at my "grad school weight" as I did in grad school. Shit, I just thought I was getting old and having to work harder at upkeep and "carrying weight differently." Hah! My damn scale was just wrong! I really am fatter than I was then!

Of course, this means I have to actually get back there, now.

Shit.

So, I guess it's my turn to carry on the great tradition of the fit and flabuless diet blog. Dammit.

Um, I'm back to regular workouts! Yay! And I finally filled out that little paper that'll get mee $200 refund from my health insurance for being such a good little gym monkey. So, woot, cash comin' my way. Eventually. God only knows how long it'll take them to send it. And I signed up for more training sessions with Edwin. I love Edwin. Even if he does think appropriate trainer-trainee convo includes the neighborhood's best burger joints. So my first renewed session with him will be this Thursday. Yay!

Ah, also, did I mention how much I appreciate the new GM at my gym? He's so goddamned enthusiastic. Whatever they're paying him, they should raise it, because I think I'm actually going to go ahead and renew with them for next year. As opposed to fleeing for the JCC or NYSC, which is what I was planning to do at the end of summer. Eh, we'll see.

Also, and this is a big one--I found a lady sports dietitian that I might want to see. Maybe. Depends on her rates. But I like the fact that she designs nutrition plans for athletes. Maybe I'll do a consultation. Her lit says she likes to meet with her clients weekly, though. Which could be a serious blow to my wallet. Meh.

And finally: I have hearby banned myself from Big Nick's for the rest of the month. I ordered from there three times in the last week. Which, in case you haven't noticed, is two times more in one week than I declared I'd allow myself. Which means I gots a whole lot of make-up to do.

Okay, no, really, this is the last bit--After my gymery last night, I went and bought some actual veggies. And stilton. I think I'm going to grab some chicken consomme from Zabar's today, too. Which means Derishus Creamy Scottish Stilton Soup(TM) for me for dinner today, woohoo! In all, that would make this a good day in terms of intake. I had a soy/fruit smoothie for brekkie, and a cucumber salad for lunch. And coffee. I just bought some more cookware at that Amazon home goods sale thing, though, so of course I just want to spend all day at home planning fancy meals to make with my soon-to-arrive cast-iron skillet and Calphalon saucier. *rolling eyes at self* Why am I such a sucker for the housewares?

So I am finally returning to a normal workout schedule, and what a relief that is.

Though I think I mildly enjoyed not getting up every morning worrying about when and how much cardio I'd be able to squeeze in (If I go now, I can do upper body and 30 minutes of elliptical. If I had just gotten up a few minutes earlier and ignored email I could have done a whole hour! Boo me! became, eh, fuck it, I'se on vacation.), I felt really, really good after my quick 45 on the elliptical yesterday. I actually missed it. I, former fat kid extraordinaire, Munchos and Tastykakes and hoagie in my lunchbox fat kid deluxe, now like, nay, crave, my daily workouts.

Well, fuck me.

It gets better. I ordered cold sesame noodles and duck for dinner last night...and threw it away after a few bites of duck and a half bowl of noodles. It just wsn't appealing once it arrived.

Wait. What's that sound? Do you hear it? It's...the sound of a revolution!

Okay, melodrama, I know. But anyway.

It's my day off. I'm going to spend it assing around on this video stuff, working out, and living off my frozen foods. I'm thinking, with all the Monarch I've been watching, that I may say to hell with the season and do a big pot of hearty stilton soup and shortbread this week. Part of the stilton soup process is making a big yummers pot of chicken/vegetable stock anyway, so I'll probably use half for the stilton soup and freeze half just to have as soup. Hang on. I think I still have frozen vegetable stock from the last time I made it. Which would make said stock, oh, six months old or more? Dang. But I also still have the $243 bluefish from Fuckyoudirect. The bluefish is approaching its first birthday in my freezer.

Okay, my lowfat strawberry yogurt is warming on my desk. Chat later chica, have a good day!

For breakfast this morning I ate chicken enchiladas and a chocolate cookie with two cups of coffee. Who says you have to eat eggs and oatmeal every day? It was a nice change, except it's weird to have spicy burps at 10 a.m.

I saw TTT today and we did upper body. It didn't feel so hard going, but now I'm wiped. I also sat around for a good while in the steam room after my shower. It makes me want to nap. But nooooo. I gots too much going on today. Drat.

I can't wait for this semester to be over. It's only the end of the second week.

You know, I think by the end of tomorrow, I'll have only been to the gym, like, eight times in the last three weeks.

I'm pretty ashamed. My schedule's been all weird and I've had time off here and there and I've been traveling a bit, and I think that has a lot to do with it, but still.

And my eating has been largely of the "I ate it because I felt like it, bitches!" plan. What is remarkable is that I haven't had the weight backslide I was expecting. I mean, I did have some backslide, but only about 3 lbs.

I think your decision is good. Especially since you are so active. I think I'm moving in the opposite direction, though. If I really want to drop the weight, I need to start monitoring what I eat more carefully. Living off Amy's helps a bit, bless their little delicious, frozen, controlled-portion hearts, but I can't do that all the time.

Which is not to say I'll never go on a scone bender again. But I will try not to do it more than once per year. Or maybe season. Uh, so far, so good!

Okay, off to work...

And I feel liberated!!

So, I'm eating what I want and regularly. I am such a happier person for it. I do, however, believe in the following daily practices: drink plenty of water, get some exercise, eat breakfast and quit eating a couple hours before bedtime.

To hell with the rest.

So what's new with you?

You know, you're not supposed to not blog when the going gets tough, or when the going gets blah, which is even worse, I suspect.

So how 'bout it chicita bananaslamadingdongdoodle?

Trained the old upper bod with TTT and put in 30 mins on the ARC this morning. Tomorrow I spin.

I also drank a glass of wine and ate a chocolatey coconut bar after dinner. I feel mildly guilty about this, mostly cuz I also had a kiddie ice cream cone in the afternoon. I wish I could release the guilt. Everything else I ate today was very healthy. So, guilt be gone!

Now I'm knackered as hell.

How you?

Argh, long day made longer by issues with car services. Meh. Now I'm waiting for my chinese delivery, and I am fairly certain I will be asleep before it arrives. I've had crackers, onion soup and frozen meals today, and it was all unpleasant.

So. Tired. And. Hungry.

Just got a look at what my revised salary will be. I need another gig. I've gotten used to the cash.

Okay, I need to sleep, but I will post again tomorrow!

After polishing off the frozen cookies last night while on the phone with your sweet self, I suppose it is only right that the gym kicked my ass today. TTT and I did legs and ass and whew, let me tell you I'm feeling it. The shower and steam room after only heightened my tiredness (I know that dudn't sound right, but it is) and now I'm soon off for sleepyby.

It was a rough day of moving my office. Sad times. Why oh why do people refuse to make space for me in this life? Damn old wounds. It'll be fine, though, and I'll probably have to move my ass again come Decemberish. I'll have three offices! I guess I retract that previous statement about being made space for.

God damn I'm tired.

I hope you had a good day, darlin' and I sure as shit wish you would write more here. Please and thank you.