Monday, July 25, 2005
Nips and Tucks and WTFs?
I share your revulsion for the plastic surgery shows, but I am so often drawn to them since it is absolutely fascinating to watch these transformations. I think that the revulsion comes from both of our desire to remake ourselves the old fashioned way, from the sheer brutality of the procedures (I mean, shit, the only other people willing to do things plastic surgeons do to the human body are called serial killers, monsters, and we lock them up and fry 'em whenever we can, because one should not generally be opening people up for just any old reason), from our good liberal-feminist bent which says there is nothing wrong with the bodies we are born with, by gum, they are wonderful and do wonderful things so why hack it up to look like someone else's ideal...
The short answer is, I think we are repulsed because we are, in fact, sane. Sane in a truly crazy world. Science is beautiful, but the command thereod has also made man crazy. We are a grasping, calculating species, far beyond any other on the planet. Twisted complication is what we do best.
That said, this is why I plan on having nips and tucks in future:
1. If I manage to lose all or even most of the excess weight, I'll have excess skin in certain areas, I'm pretty sure. I've been hugely fat all my life. I mean, shit, I weigh less now than I did when I was 10. TEN! My body and skin has never really known what it was like to wrap a little package. It's too late to ask it to start now.
2. TEN! So I've never known what it was like to have a little, generally admirable body. It has been selectively admired, of course, but most people have looked at me and seen pathology. It would be interesting to, you know, walk among you normals and not have everyone assume A, B, C, D and X about me before I open my mouth and more or less confirm it. Ha!
3. I'm keeping it to a minimum. I think I'll have my twins shrunken and lifted, but I wouldn't want implants. Maybe because I've had the hoots all my life, like you, but all the women in my (mom's) family were more-or-less little-hooted and I've seen the perks. Okay, worst punning ever, I know, but my mom's almost 50 and hers are still standing at attention. Oh, and no bras! God, I could never even imagine what that would be like. Joy!!!!!! Of course, the tradeoff is, at best, a Raggedy Anne seam running down the middle of each tit. Yeesh. But other than taking care of stuff so that I don't have to worry about stuffing my skin into my clothes appropriately for the rest of my life, no cosmetic stuff. I sometimes hate my nose. I'll get over that, though. Stuff like that I am much more practical about.
Crap, I gotta go to the gym. Chat later?
The short answer is, I think we are repulsed because we are, in fact, sane. Sane in a truly crazy world. Science is beautiful, but the command thereod has also made man crazy. We are a grasping, calculating species, far beyond any other on the planet. Twisted complication is what we do best.
That said, this is why I plan on having nips and tucks in future:
1. If I manage to lose all or even most of the excess weight, I'll have excess skin in certain areas, I'm pretty sure. I've been hugely fat all my life. I mean, shit, I weigh less now than I did when I was 10. TEN! My body and skin has never really known what it was like to wrap a little package. It's too late to ask it to start now.
2. TEN! So I've never known what it was like to have a little, generally admirable body. It has been selectively admired, of course, but most people have looked at me and seen pathology. It would be interesting to, you know, walk among you normals and not have everyone assume A, B, C, D and X about me before I open my mouth and more or less confirm it. Ha!
3. I'm keeping it to a minimum. I think I'll have my twins shrunken and lifted, but I wouldn't want implants. Maybe because I've had the hoots all my life, like you, but all the women in my (mom's) family were more-or-less little-hooted and I've seen the perks. Okay, worst punning ever, I know, but my mom's almost 50 and hers are still standing at attention. Oh, and no bras! God, I could never even imagine what that would be like. Joy!!!!!! Of course, the tradeoff is, at best, a Raggedy Anne seam running down the middle of each tit. Yeesh. But other than taking care of stuff so that I don't have to worry about stuffing my skin into my clothes appropriately for the rest of my life, no cosmetic stuff. I sometimes hate my nose. I'll get over that, though. Stuff like that I am much more practical about.
Crap, I gotta go to the gym. Chat later?
// posted by Sid @ 11:25 AM 
