Friday, May 20, 2005
Overdoing it=BAD
Silly all-or-nothing gals that we are, this is a difficult concept to grasp.
I think you need a day off.
Just as I was getting all self-righteous and pretending I've figured this shit out, the bottom dropped out. A little. I am being totally forgiving with myself, though.
Last night, instead of stopping at Meijer to buy eggplant and zucchini, I went home and ate a can of tuna with celery, cuz I was tired. And on deadline. Bad combination. You know what I did. Instead of having a nice cup of tea and hammering out that mofo story, I sat and watched Will and Grace, then the apprentice, then ER. All the while snacking, and I wrote it all down: cantaloupe chunks, 4 ggs with fat free cream cheese and sugar free jam, creamy chai, 2 sugar free fudgsicles, an egg white omelette with fat free cheese and ham, 2 apples with peanut butter, a chocolate brownie clif bar and 2 glasses of skim milk with walden farms chocolate syrup. I just kept eatin'! And did I write that story, even though my editor had already called me at 5:30 asking where it was? N. O. Well, yes. Actually I just filed it. I figured, whether I file the mofo at midnight or at 8:45 a.m. she's not gonna get her hands on it until she strolls in this morning at 10. What's the difference?
Sheesh.
So, I guess the thing is taking care of ourselves does not mean working out so hard that we're draggin' our skinny butts around our respective towns and eating as little as possible, which seems to be the course we've been on. I think that's a good set up for some crazy bingeing rebounding, a.k.a. last night for me.
Also, be careful with those Clif bars--they are too handy and too delicious. I have them on hand, but I try to keep them out of sight. At 250 calories a pop, they add up quickly, and they are really meant as a high calorie snack for mountain climbers and shit. The luna bar (I especially like the chocolate pecan pie and nuts over chocolate flavors) at 170-180 calories is a better bet for me, even though they carry the same risks.
You know, I did not feel well this morning when I woke up. This could be because I had to write a silly story, but more likely it is all the food I had in my belly when I went to bed. It really does feel much better to eat less. I mean, my joints were sore, I felt heavy, etc. I also think I might have a mild allergy to peanuts, but oh how I love the peanut butter. It might have to go in the bin, though. Naw, my mama will take it off my hands.
I need to go buy some groceries and have some good stuff on hand all the time. I was running low last night. I know if I'd had some of my Zuch/eplant parma I'd have been satisfied. but then again, it was all about the deadline and the nervous eating. I need to think on better ways to avoid that pitfall. Any suggestions?
Good thing I'm seeing Tracy today. She'll kick my heiny and I'll go long on cardio. Now I think I'll go eat more eggs and fat free cheese. Oy.
See, this is the thing, I know. The binge last night really wasn't all that devastating because for the most part it was all this diet-y low cal food ('cept for the peanut butter by the spoonful straight from the jar). I'll chalk it up to a little metabolism rev and plan on not doing it again for a good while.
Kid gloves. No shame. I get enough of that shit from my grandmother. I'd like to slap her with my kid gloves.
How'd you like The Mother? I found that film particularly disturbing, and I actually credit it with inspiring me to get into sessions with Pam. It made me realize how frighteningly like that lady my mama is in her sweet manipulations and selfishness. Sometimes art can open yer eyes a little too wide.
Talk later?
I think you need a day off.
Just as I was getting all self-righteous and pretending I've figured this shit out, the bottom dropped out. A little. I am being totally forgiving with myself, though.
Last night, instead of stopping at Meijer to buy eggplant and zucchini, I went home and ate a can of tuna with celery, cuz I was tired. And on deadline. Bad combination. You know what I did. Instead of having a nice cup of tea and hammering out that mofo story, I sat and watched Will and Grace, then the apprentice, then ER. All the while snacking, and I wrote it all down: cantaloupe chunks, 4 ggs with fat free cream cheese and sugar free jam, creamy chai, 2 sugar free fudgsicles, an egg white omelette with fat free cheese and ham, 2 apples with peanut butter, a chocolate brownie clif bar and 2 glasses of skim milk with walden farms chocolate syrup. I just kept eatin'! And did I write that story, even though my editor had already called me at 5:30 asking where it was? N. O. Well, yes. Actually I just filed it. I figured, whether I file the mofo at midnight or at 8:45 a.m. she's not gonna get her hands on it until she strolls in this morning at 10. What's the difference?
Sheesh.
So, I guess the thing is taking care of ourselves does not mean working out so hard that we're draggin' our skinny butts around our respective towns and eating as little as possible, which seems to be the course we've been on. I think that's a good set up for some crazy bingeing rebounding, a.k.a. last night for me.
Also, be careful with those Clif bars--they are too handy and too delicious. I have them on hand, but I try to keep them out of sight. At 250 calories a pop, they add up quickly, and they are really meant as a high calorie snack for mountain climbers and shit. The luna bar (I especially like the chocolate pecan pie and nuts over chocolate flavors) at 170-180 calories is a better bet for me, even though they carry the same risks.
You know, I did not feel well this morning when I woke up. This could be because I had to write a silly story, but more likely it is all the food I had in my belly when I went to bed. It really does feel much better to eat less. I mean, my joints were sore, I felt heavy, etc. I also think I might have a mild allergy to peanuts, but oh how I love the peanut butter. It might have to go in the bin, though. Naw, my mama will take it off my hands.
I need to go buy some groceries and have some good stuff on hand all the time. I was running low last night. I know if I'd had some of my Zuch/eplant parma I'd have been satisfied. but then again, it was all about the deadline and the nervous eating. I need to think on better ways to avoid that pitfall. Any suggestions?
Good thing I'm seeing Tracy today. She'll kick my heiny and I'll go long on cardio. Now I think I'll go eat more eggs and fat free cheese. Oy.
See, this is the thing, I know. The binge last night really wasn't all that devastating because for the most part it was all this diet-y low cal food ('cept for the peanut butter by the spoonful straight from the jar). I'll chalk it up to a little metabolism rev and plan on not doing it again for a good while.
Kid gloves. No shame. I get enough of that shit from my grandmother. I'd like to slap her with my kid gloves.
How'd you like The Mother? I found that film particularly disturbing, and I actually credit it with inspiring me to get into sessions with Pam. It made me realize how frighteningly like that lady my mama is in her sweet manipulations and selfishness. Sometimes art can open yer eyes a little too wide.
Talk later?
// posted by divine m @ 12:18 PM 
