Thursday, May 26, 2005
Life would be nicer if it didn't suck so much.
First, I think I must tell you that just having you as a friend and having your love and support and remarkable ability to listen to me ramble on is more help and comfort than you know. Thanks so much for that.
And there's nuthin' so called about your life! It's some good shit! You keep livin' it fabulously, woman. Which you've done, after your own fight with cancer. Fuckin' cancer, fuckin with everybody I love. Fucker. Does it bother you to listen to my bullshitery and whining about this? Tell me to shut up if it does.
Oh, that Ramon. Did he call you after his birthday drinks? How are you holding up? Doing better, I hope. Is he trying to buy his way back into your graces with this Giselle donation, or do you think he is truly a cupporter of dance? And no, I don't see Sher letting him in.
I think we all have this wonderful idea of love, real love, and friendship, and how, when we're really in love, a friendship can last through even a breakup. Sometimes it can, but I think only when both people mutually lose sexual interest in each other. Because the thing we all forget when we're dreaming of how noble we'll be after a breakup, how we can be friends, is that we are all fucking human, and we're social animals, and breakups involve hurt and suffering and rejection, and being all chipper and friendly immediately after that shit (or even for a long time after) is pretty much unrealistic, or a big fucking lie. I think a good rule is to allot yourself one-third as long as your relationship lasted to "get over it" in a meaningful way. That gives you a total of 20 months to mourn that bad boy, and your time ain't up, yet, sister. Which isn't to say you shouldn't see other people until then, just that you should probably not be stressed out about the lingering hurt. I mean, is a relationship worth anything if you don't mourn its passing?
I don't think so.
But I am an evil fire snake aquarian, so my perspective might be a bit skewed. All that shit together apparently makes me jealous, possessive, passionate, AND YET aloof and unavailable to my partners. Orsomething.
Your outfit sounds beautiful! Take pictures so I can see ya all tarted up!
I got some Amy's after the gym and I'm pretty much back on track. I have gone crazy with the Ryvita and toppings, though. I discovered that if I top them with fake cream cheese and sundried tomatoes, they are perfect, like little yummy pizzas. You probably told me this already in your quest for the perfect GG topper. And I think I should just skip the booze altogether, man, because it's just going to make me sadder and slow down my metabolism. And what's the point of doing all this shit if I'm gonna let that happen?
Call you in the mornin'? I have an asscrackadawn session (my last scheduled...perhaps my last with Frank altogether) and then a big gap in which to wander around being bitchy and miserable. Then I have swim. Then I will pass out. But somewhere in there, we will chat!
Frankupdate: So how about this man text-messaged me this morning (after agreeing yesterday to a 10am session today) saying he needed to move it to 11:30. I'm done. New trainer. What the fuck.
And there's nuthin' so called about your life! It's some good shit! You keep livin' it fabulously, woman. Which you've done, after your own fight with cancer. Fuckin' cancer, fuckin with everybody I love. Fucker. Does it bother you to listen to my bullshitery and whining about this? Tell me to shut up if it does.
Oh, that Ramon. Did he call you after his birthday drinks? How are you holding up? Doing better, I hope. Is he trying to buy his way back into your graces with this Giselle donation, or do you think he is truly a cupporter of dance? And no, I don't see Sher letting him in.
I think we all have this wonderful idea of love, real love, and friendship, and how, when we're really in love, a friendship can last through even a breakup. Sometimes it can, but I think only when both people mutually lose sexual interest in each other. Because the thing we all forget when we're dreaming of how noble we'll be after a breakup, how we can be friends, is that we are all fucking human, and we're social animals, and breakups involve hurt and suffering and rejection, and being all chipper and friendly immediately after that shit (or even for a long time after) is pretty much unrealistic, or a big fucking lie. I think a good rule is to allot yourself one-third as long as your relationship lasted to "get over it" in a meaningful way. That gives you a total of 20 months to mourn that bad boy, and your time ain't up, yet, sister. Which isn't to say you shouldn't see other people until then, just that you should probably not be stressed out about the lingering hurt. I mean, is a relationship worth anything if you don't mourn its passing?
I don't think so.
But I am an evil fire snake aquarian, so my perspective might be a bit skewed. All that shit together apparently makes me jealous, possessive, passionate, AND YET aloof and unavailable to my partners. Orsomething.
Your outfit sounds beautiful! Take pictures so I can see ya all tarted up!
I got some Amy's after the gym and I'm pretty much back on track. I have gone crazy with the Ryvita and toppings, though. I discovered that if I top them with fake cream cheese and sundried tomatoes, they are perfect, like little yummy pizzas. You probably told me this already in your quest for the perfect GG topper. And I think I should just skip the booze altogether, man, because it's just going to make me sadder and slow down my metabolism. And what's the point of doing all this shit if I'm gonna let that happen?
Call you in the mornin'? I have an asscrackadawn session (my last scheduled...perhaps my last with Frank altogether) and then a big gap in which to wander around being bitchy and miserable. Then I have swim. Then I will pass out. But somewhere in there, we will chat!
Frankupdate: So how about this man text-messaged me this morning (after agreeing yesterday to a 10am session today) saying he needed to move it to 11:30. I'm done. New trainer. What the fuck.
// posted by Sid @ 12:09 AM 
