Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Just Woes
I hope your sixth sense will bring yougood things only! I dunno about Ramon's birthday, though. I think you should do what makes you feel least uncomfortable and know in your belly is best. Because you can't sit around worrying over not doing it if you really want to, or doing it because you feel like you should. Shit, I say--
Well, I dunno. That's a really tough one. We should talk about it in the morning.
I just ate 18 pieces of grocery store maki. I wasn't hungry.
I just found out my grandpa has prostate cancer. He's 83. No one is sure when he was last tested, so there's no way to guess how far it might have progressed. He won't take the test to find out until Friday, and we won't get the results until Tuesday.
My mom is kind of a mess. I see now why she wanted me to come home. I don't think I'll be able to break down until I know what his odds are. Right now, I'm just kinda numb.
He can't fucking die, though. He can't.
I always assumed he'd live as long as his mother. He's always been the heartiest member of the family, too. Worked six days a week for as long as I can remember. Almost never sick.
I want him to walk me down the aisle if I ever get married. So I think he can't die, for my own purely selfish reasons.
I think I'm gonna lose my shit if he doesn't pull through this. I mean, he's basically my dad. Did you know my youngest uncle is only 12 years older than me? I feel like I'm the baby of my mother's family. And Pop is my dad. He's certainly the only man I have ever felt has loved and supported me unconditionally, in my life, ever. I love that man so much it hurts. And this shit is flipping me out now, so I'm going to stop talking about it.
Sorry. Anyway, I'm going to go do some research.
Hope things are good on your end! Ballet went well? Talk to you soon, chica!
Well, I dunno. That's a really tough one. We should talk about it in the morning.
I just ate 18 pieces of grocery store maki. I wasn't hungry.
I just found out my grandpa has prostate cancer. He's 83. No one is sure when he was last tested, so there's no way to guess how far it might have progressed. He won't take the test to find out until Friday, and we won't get the results until Tuesday.
My mom is kind of a mess. I see now why she wanted me to come home. I don't think I'll be able to break down until I know what his odds are. Right now, I'm just kinda numb.
He can't fucking die, though. He can't.
I always assumed he'd live as long as his mother. He's always been the heartiest member of the family, too. Worked six days a week for as long as I can remember. Almost never sick.
I want him to walk me down the aisle if I ever get married. So I think he can't die, for my own purely selfish reasons.
I think I'm gonna lose my shit if he doesn't pull through this. I mean, he's basically my dad. Did you know my youngest uncle is only 12 years older than me? I feel like I'm the baby of my mother's family. And Pop is my dad. He's certainly the only man I have ever felt has loved and supported me unconditionally, in my life, ever. I love that man so much it hurts. And this shit is flipping me out now, so I'm going to stop talking about it.
Sorry. Anyway, I'm going to go do some research.
Hope things are good on your end! Ballet went well? Talk to you soon, chica!
// posted by Sid @ 2:41 AM 
Comments:
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Nia, I am so sorry. As we talked this morning I didn't realize what your relationship was--that only makes it much, much harder. I think it's really important that you learn as much as you can and spend as much time as you can with him.
Please keep me updated and know that you can always talk to me. I think it's important to have someone to rely on who's not as close to the situation as your family is.
See if you can postpone the Chicago trip if you think that's the best thing to do. I'm worried about you and I want to see you, but if the time's not right, the times not right. If expedia or whoever will let you transfer the ticket and hotel, maybe you should think about it.
I wish I could give you a great big hug and hold your hand a little. Please take care of yourself best you can and we'll talk soon.
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Please keep me updated and know that you can always talk to me. I think it's important to have someone to rely on who's not as close to the situation as your family is.
See if you can postpone the Chicago trip if you think that's the best thing to do. I'm worried about you and I want to see you, but if the time's not right, the times not right. If expedia or whoever will let you transfer the ticket and hotel, maybe you should think about it.
I wish I could give you a great big hug and hold your hand a little. Please take care of yourself best you can and we'll talk soon.
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