Wednesday, May 25, 2005
How you? and trifles about my so-called life
I'm just thinking about you all the time, darlin'. If you have any idea how I can best help you, please let me know. Sometimes silly distraction is good, sometimes it's not.
I'm proud of you for working out today despite fuckin' Frank in New Jersey. Asshole. You showed him.
On a side note, I called Ramon to wish him a happy birthday and he had forgotten it was his birthday. But since I reminded him, he decided he would take himself for a drink later. As if he doesn't do that every day of his life.
He also told me he'll be coming to Kalamazoo to sign some paperwork for the bank/mortgage refinancing. Now he wants to coordinate it with Giselle so he can make a financial contribution to our show. I wonder if Sher would even let him in. . . .
I am not riled, I am not anything; but what the hell am I doing? Pretending everything is fine? I always thought if we broke up we'd still be friends, but am I ready? Am I capable? Am I sabotaging myself from being with someone who is capable of being with me in the way I want?
Trifles, yes, in contrast to your life shit at this moment, so please feel free to disregard the previous three paragraphs.
Another trifling aside: I went to TJMaxx after we hung up this afternoon and bought my cuz a set of three little Lenox picture frames and myself some rhinestone hoops to go with my party dress (the circles of rhinestones have become a leitmotif in my ensemble: the earrings reflect the shoes. . . . will anyone notice? Do I give a flying fuck? yes and no, but I'm working hard just to be myself--no less and no more glamorous and fabulous than I am in actuality. how's that for growth?)
No more drinkie-drinkie all by yourself, okay? Or maybe switch to red wine. Spirits do the crazy dance with your already weeping heart. Make sure to take deep breaths and get theeself to the grocery store for some Amy's as soon as possible. And call me! Cuz I luv you!
I'm proud of you for working out today despite fuckin' Frank in New Jersey. Asshole. You showed him.
On a side note, I called Ramon to wish him a happy birthday and he had forgotten it was his birthday. But since I reminded him, he decided he would take himself for a drink later. As if he doesn't do that every day of his life.
He also told me he'll be coming to Kalamazoo to sign some paperwork for the bank/mortgage refinancing. Now he wants to coordinate it with Giselle so he can make a financial contribution to our show. I wonder if Sher would even let him in. . . .
I am not riled, I am not anything; but what the hell am I doing? Pretending everything is fine? I always thought if we broke up we'd still be friends, but am I ready? Am I capable? Am I sabotaging myself from being with someone who is capable of being with me in the way I want?
Trifles, yes, in contrast to your life shit at this moment, so please feel free to disregard the previous three paragraphs.
Another trifling aside: I went to TJMaxx after we hung up this afternoon and bought my cuz a set of three little Lenox picture frames and myself some rhinestone hoops to go with my party dress (the circles of rhinestones have become a leitmotif in my ensemble: the earrings reflect the shoes. . . . will anyone notice? Do I give a flying fuck? yes and no, but I'm working hard just to be myself--no less and no more glamorous and fabulous than I am in actuality. how's that for growth?)
No more drinkie-drinkie all by yourself, okay? Or maybe switch to red wine. Spirits do the crazy dance with your already weeping heart. Make sure to take deep breaths and get theeself to the grocery store for some Amy's as soon as possible. And call me! Cuz I luv you!
// posted by divine m @ 4:54 PM 
